Catch a Cheating Valentine

Although Valentine’s Day is typically a time for love, romance will likely be off the agenda if you find out your spouse or significant other is having an affair. In fact, many cheaters mess up during this time of year and blow their own cover because they are attempting to juggle the holiday with two or more love interests.

February is Prime Time to Catch a Cheating Valentine

Stephany Alexander, infidelity expert and author of a book on helping women uncover their men’s adultery, says that February is a prime time to catch a cheater. In fact, the practice of cheating around Valentine’s Day is so rampant that February 13 has been dubbed “Mistress Day,” according to Alexander.

Noel Biderman, CEO and founder of cheating site AshleyMadison.com, echoes this sentiment. A recent Ashley Madison poll found that 79% of male cheaters planned to spend February 13th with their mistress, then spend Valentine’s Day with their wife. Biderman also notes that, in recent years, his site has seen membership rates increase by 202% after the New Year, skyrocketing to 258% on February 15th.

Why is My Partner Cheating on Me?

A recent study on marital infidelity found that men and women cheat for different reasons. Men sometimes cheat because they crave intimacy that they’re not finding it at home. (Ironically, they also cheat as a way to avoid intimacy.) They may also pursue another partner because they are emotionally dissatisfied in their current relationship, or because they want more variety in their sex life. Even still, a recent study by Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher found that 56% of men who cheat claimed to be “happily married.”

Women sometimes cheat because they are looking for physical intimacy or affection that they aren't getting from their spouse or significant other. They often feel lonely and disconnected, or that they are being taken for granted. It’s interesting to note that, in Fisher’s study, only 34% of those women who cheat claimed to be happily married

For both men and women, ready access to the internet has also contributed to the problem, as people turn to social networking sites and dating apps like Match, Plenty of Fish, and Tinder to search for romantic partners, flirt, and seek out old flames.

How Can I Tell if My Partner is Cheating on Me?

There are many telltale signs that may indicate your spouse is having an affair. These include:

  • Unexplained absences – Your spouse or significant other might be inexplicably absent on a day leading up to the holiday. Or, if dating, your boyfriend or girlfriend may be unavailable on the holiday itself, which could be a sign that he or she is already married.
  • Decreased appetite – A cheater might not be hungry because he or she already shared a meal with another partner. (The same can be said of a sexual appetite.)
  • Diminishing cash flow – Your partner seems to be low on cash all of a sudden. Biderman says that men spend three times more on gifts for their mistresses than they do for their spouse. A mistress is often on the receiving end of luxury items such as jewelry, lingerie, trips, or fine wine. It can be difficult to track the money spent on such expenses, as they are often purchased with money taken out of an ATM.
  • Unexpected presents – You may find yourself on the receiving end of many unexpected presents – or ‘guilt gifts.’
  • More secretive – Your partner might ignore a ringing phone in your presence, or hide their phone from you so that you can’t see who he or she is communicating with. He or she might also change their passwords so that you can’t access accounts you used to be able to login to.
  • Behavioral changes – Your spouse might become frustrated more easily, go missing for hours at a time, seem distant, or appear anxious.

How Do I Catch My Cheating Spouse?

Since Valentine’s Day is such a common time for cheating, it is an optimal time to catch a cheater in the act. Some ways to do that include:

  • Check their expenses – Look at credit card statements and other receipts to see if there are any charges for florists, restaurants, hotels, or other purchases that seem suspicious.
  • Check their phone – Many cheaters will start taking their phone with them everywhere in order to avoid being caught, which can make it hard to snoop. If they slip up, though, take the opportunity to check it out and see if anything is amiss.
  • Hire a private investigator – If you think your spouse is cheating on you – but can’t prove it – a professional private investigator can provide surveillance and other investigative techniques to help you discover the truth.

For over three decades, licensed private investigator Mike Garroutte has been helping his clients get the answers they need to make informed decisions and move forward with their lives. To learn more about the private investigative services that Linked Investigations offers, contact us by phone at (714) 432-9911 or fill out our contact form.

Published on: 
February 14, 2016
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