Happy Valentine's Day???
Valentine’s Day in 2021 may be a little disappointing if you are expecting a big romantic dinner and a nigh-out on the town. Masks optional. You may have to settle for dinner on the make-shift patio at the restaurant once again, or take-out, or dinner at home. A safe, small, intimate couples-at-home dinner evening idea may be rewarding. Remain vigilant! Things can only improve! Of course, a night thoughtfully planned with a few bells and whistles, and creativity, even if you are staying in, does show the heartfelt effort and intensions. Will the efforts be appreciated? If you and your mate are in love, it will all be good!
However, if either of you have hearts and eyes for someone else, there is practically nothing either of you may be willing to do to change. Learning the truth without asking them is almost always your best bet!
Of course, there is a difference between a one-time, small inconsiderate comment or off-normal behavior and the pattern of negativity, verbal abuse, insults, indiscretions in the past, condescension.
In our business, the business of helping people get answers and finding the truth, we see everything from family rivals and business scandals to infidelity including different levels of deception and sophistication.
When it comes to away trips, birthdays, and holidays, sadly, these can be a good opportunity to catch someone who is being unfaithful. The problem we have seen over the last 38 years in the business is most of us do not plan ahead and schedule a check of a person’s activity prior to the holiday or other special occasion. What most people do is hand-wring and procrastinate typically due to their own fears, feelings of guilt for not trusting their significant other, hope that nothing is going on outside of the relationship or a fear of being discovered in their DYI investigation. Even hiring a private investigator without proper planning can make matters worse.
Common sense dictates you should not expect honesty when you ask a cheater or liar to tell you the truth. Asking a controlling person, who may not respect you, who is also a liar and manipulative and selfish, is obviously the wrong thing to do. Of course, that may sound harsh and sad, but the situation is exactly that, harsh and sad.
You have a choice, ignore what is happening and continue in misery until something more dramatic happens, or consult with a professional licensed private investigator, make a secret plan, and let the private investigator get you the answers you need to make a more informed decision. A licensed investigator who specializes in family law, has worked with people in these situations several thousand times, learning all the way. That experience can help to pull you through the tough times and shorten the length of the unhappiness. You may be surprised how much better you feel after a simple, free, and confidential consultation.
You will not have to do anything when you learn the truth, you can take time to make a better decision before doing something. Again, one of the worst things you can do if you learn the sordid details of an affair, is to lose your common sense and confront the cheater before you have taken a little time to consider your options and move forward in a measured, more effective way. Confronting a person who fits the above description, will only serve to empower them more. If you do not understand why, you desperately need to consult with an experienced private eye.
Constantly badgering someone about their behavior, even threatening to have them watched using a private Investigator will serve to educate them that they need to up-their game and be more careful. Sometimes worse.
Not to mention they will accuse you of dividing the two of you, being paranoid, or crazy. They may sow seeds of distrust with family, friends, and coworkers. They may say things like “I should have an affair; you think I am anyway!" They may even dare you to prove it!
Does your mate get defensive when asked where they have been or why they were gone for so long? Do you think they will prefer to tell you the truth when you push the issue ? Do you already have a suspicion something is going on behind your back? There are several things we see people do that only make matters worse and make any attempt to get to the bottom of those nagging questions, much more challenging.
Unfortunately, most people wait for another disappointment over the holiday, birthday, or other occasion, before they think to consult, for free, with a licensed private investigator in their area.
The time to find a qualified investigator is now, before the event is upon you, by at least a few days. Discuss what is going on or what your concerns are and plan to check on them when they say they must “run out for a while” or something “pops-up” or they create an argument, or a trip, so they can get away for a while. If you wait until the last minute and miss the opportunity, no P.I. can tell you what happened yesterday.