Your Cheating Spouse Could Fall Into One of These Categories.

Knowing your spouse is cheating is difficult. Actually catching a cheater in the act can be a pivotal (and often traumatic) event in your relationship with each other. There are more than just emotional ramifications at state. Your home, family, and finances are all at stake. Every choice you make from that point forward is critical. It’s important to make these decisions rationally, not emotionally, because they affect the rest of your life moving forward.

Knowing what’s really going on can help you to make the choices that are best for you, your family, and your well-being.

Below are six common patterns that spouses fall into when they are having an affair as outlined by Douglas LaBier in Psychology Today. Dr. LaBier has identified these six scenarios as the most common reasons after decades of working with individuals and couples who have cheated or been cheated on.

Which Affair Is Your Spouse Having?

The Lustful Affair. This is an affair based only on a couple’s physical attraction to each other. They often feel a pull that can only be satisfied by sex. There is a compulsive element to their interaction and they often become bored of each other very quickly as the relationship fizzles as quickly as it started. Public figures often make headlines with this sort of affair.

An Affair as a Means of Revenge. This affair often happens when someone’s needs aren’t being met in an existing relationship. They may be physical or emotional. If the situation continues long enough, anger and resentment builds. The spouse will then turn to having an affair to get the other person’s attention or to fulfill their needs somewhere else. These are tied to deep relationship issues.

The Emotional Affair. These affairs are often never actually consummated with sex even though both parties are highly intimate with each other. They share mutual interests and beliefs and are often very close with each other. In these relationships, the parties often choose to stay in their primary relationship and avoid having sex because of it. Even so, the emotional effects are often felt by their partner.

The Family Affair. These are often the least suspected affairs and often occur after years of sexual tension between a spouse and one of your family members. Many parties think that one time together will be enough. This ends up not being the case. This sort of affair often upsets the relationship balance of an entire family unit.

The Typical Affair. This relationship is between a person who is in a committed relationship and one who is not. They care for each other and have sex. Both parties may become possessive of each other and jealous of any other interactions that they may have even though the cheater is married and the lover is not. The unattached partner may be under the impression that their lover will eventually leave their spouse to be with them. Usually, the spouse has no intention of leaving their partner. This belief that their relationship is “meant to be” is often what keeps the lover from feeling guilty about being the other man or the other woman.

The Worst Affair. In this affair, the cheater is attracted to their lover emotionally and physically. They care deeply for this person and the affair consumes their entire being. This is difficult for couples to heal from and especially hurtful for the spouse who is being cheated on.

Suspect An Affair? Look At Your Relationship.

If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, your relationship together might hold the key to what kind of affair is taking place. An affair that stems from a weakness in the relationship or in your or your partner’s relationship skills fall into the category of relationship that can be salvageable. Revenge and emotional affairs occur because a partner lacks the skills to maintain a strong connection with their spouse, like those related to conflict resolution, communication or intimacy. If your partner chooses to put in the work, you might be able to fix things.

If your partner’s cheating stems from some sort of personality flaw, sexual compulsion, addictive behavior, or an affair rooted in betrayal, this is likely going to be a repetitive incident. We strongly recommend getting out of this type of relationship.

Each one of these scenarios is difficult to address when the cheater lies about having an extra marital relationship. We have found in thousands of marital infidelity investigations, the cheater lied, continues to lie, and usually will not admit to the extent an affair, even when caught. You have to know when you have enough information to move forward without their acknowledgment or cooperation. You have to take care of yourself.

Hiring A Private Investigator Can Help

Working with a professional, licensed private investigator can help you determine the best course moving forward. A private investigator can provide surveillance, background checks, and other services to help you gather the best information for making an informed decision. The right investigator with enough experience should be able to assist you in your strategy and introduce you to the best Family Law Attorney for your specific circumstances.  Consulting with an attorney can help you to understand what comes next for your relationship. Remember, having a consultation with a Family Law Attorney does not mean you are getting a divorce now. It only means you are educating yourself of your rights; the process, should you elect to file for divorce; and, getting the best advice and answers to your questions. Preparation is everything.

Mike Garroutte is a discrete, reliable licensed private investigator. He has the expertise and skill to get the task done. If you need to catch a cheater or to collect the information you need to decide how to handle spousal infidelity, contact Linked Investigations for a free, no obligation consultation.

Published on: 
October 5, 2020
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